Growing up in the Quintrell home was interesting to say the least. The one thing I could always count on was the relationship with my mother. She was always there for me. I am not in any way saying my Father was not, but Dad worked a lot. He never turned down over time and he felt his first responsibility was being a provider. For many years prior to my birth, mom worked at a bank in Charleston. When I was born, she made the decision to quit her job and stay home to take care of me. I do not think it took her long to realize the handful that I was going to be. I remember many wonderful times, and of course, the occasional tune-up with the fly swatter when needed.
Even though I enjoy many great memories from my youth, my mother is suffering with the terrible disease of dementia and can no longer recall events such as our parakeet “Pete” and how he used to play hide and seek with us in the house, or the first time she purchased a cap pistol for me and making me think she was firing a real gun at my feet. Trust me, you have never seen dance moves like that before! We have laughed and joked about similar situations like these over the years, but lately, that has stopped. I used to miss reminiscing with Mom regarding life and my memories, but I have realized that, at this time of our relationship, it’s not about me or what I can remember, it’s about listening to what she remembers. Often we talk about her childhood and little hints of the past that come to mind. We sing songs and hymns together often, and it is amazing how she can remember every word and note to “Beulah Land” or “How Great Thou Art.”
For sure I struggle with this! Seeing my Mom in this way makes me very angry at times. I miss how life used to be with her. I want to hear the witty jokes and stories. I want to discuss old family vacations. Maybe talk about the wonderful words of wisdom she gave me when I danced with her at my wedding. I crave to hear from her that she is proud of me for what I am doing in life. My kids would love to have Mamaw to tease and laugh with once again. My Mother was too much of a rock in our family to be like this!
Thank God for His peace and understanding. I have finally realized that all the years that Mom took care of me, this is my opportunity to do the same for her. It’s my time to listen, care, and love. It is my time to show patience and understanding. It’s my opportunity to take care of and provide for. I need to take anger and misunderstanding and turn it into thankfulness and opportunity. I am obviously not happy about this current situation with Mom, but I know what must be done. I pray that I can be half the caregiver for her as she was for me. “Happy Mother’s Day Mom, love you!”
